Today I was able to spend some time luxuriating in the creative process, letting myself play with colours and textures and letting that flow into fresh inspiration for the story. I sat in the sunshine with the laptop balanced on my knees and simply let that inspiration flow into words… Everything seems to trigger a sense of inspiration when I reach this immersed state - its exhilarating and a little bit terrifying all at once!
This is one of those scenes where the story details shift and change as I write. It starts of uncomfortable, uncertain, and then the story unfurls as I continue to write, like the new leaves of spring emerging from a dry branch. I have to keep myself from overthinking it, from criticising the points that don’t match, and simply allow the story to flow and keep flowing as I write. I can always come back to it later and clean things up. Instead, being present in the here and now, feeling excitement build as I see all kinds of details and ideas fall into place, is worth much more than smoothing out any discrepancies right away.
Music: Thomas Bergersen, full list, but especially “Foundation”, “Tristan”, “Believe”, “Stars are coming home…”
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Listen to “Tristan”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi5EiCgQKuw
Story Instalment: “Welcome”
Total words: 2,048
As she walked, Simone let her fingers trail along the tree branches, keeping close to the one side of the path that formed naturally between the fruit trees. The colours filled her mind, a swirl of white and beige and orange accentuated with the bright green leaves. A sense of peace filled her, drifting into her soul upon the sweet scent of the orange blossoms, but then a branch pricked her finger and a sense of darkness descended upon her, as if someone had taken a giant brush with black paint and swiped it across her mind.
Simone opened her eyes, but everything remained black. She felt her chest tighten, the sweet scent corrupted into a bitter after taste in the back of her throat. The smell of burning candles and incense filled her nostrils, and she gripped the nearest tree trunk to steady herself.
“No, please, not here…”
But even as the darkness faded into indigo, and then into dark greens and smouldering colours, she knew where Sir Time had brought her next.
The Oasis Gardens.
“Why are you doing this to me?” Simone yelled, spinning around, trying to find that stupid Keeper, looking around for the silhouette of his floppy hat, the sound of his continuous muttering, anything…
But there was only silence. The silence of the caverns, complete with distant drips of water and the rustle of leaves. A longing tugged at her as she saw the light breaking through in the distance, dancing into a million colours as it connected with the gardens hidden there. Turquoise and bright pinks beckoned her forward, and Simone felt herself move towards them, unable to help herself.
“No please, don’t make me go back…” This time her words were barely above a whisper, as if she knew it was futile to fight against it. Already, memories of her last day there drowned out everything else that had happened, even that very first day when she had thought she was welcome here, when she thought she had finally found her place, somewhere to call home…
Simone shook her head, pressing her fingers against her temples. She already felt the familiar pain blooming behind her lids, the start of the migraines she had grown used to as a daily occurrence. “It’s a memory, only a memory,” she mumbled to herself. She had started to figure out what Sir Time was all about - he had some way to actually travel in time. Or make her feel as she was in any case, somehow triggering all kinds of memories in her. But it felt off, broken. Surely she could have some say in this? She sat down right there, ignoring the gravel and stones of the cavern floor, and pressed her hands more tightly against her head, forcing herself to push away this memory and instead summon the one she had cherished ever since she fled this place. The day when everything seemed possible, her dreams come true.
She certainly hadn’t felt that way at the time, not at first. She had been minding her own business along the streets of Oasis - or rather, as much as a young, attractive girl of about 12 could mind her own business. Simone tugged her cloak more tightly around her, hugging the shadows along the walls, but every now and then someone still called out to her, or tried to snag the hem of her clothes to pull her back. She pushed her hand across her face, angry at herself for letting the tears fall. She had always been so careful to go unnoticed, to not let anyone see her face or get to close. It made it difficult to survive of course - even the most resourceful urchins had a difficult time in the underground of Oasis. But she had figured out a way, a way to make herself useful without letting anyone see her… Simone was a quick study of people. From her earliest memories - perhaps when she was four or five - her survival instinct had kicked in. She had no idea where she had come from or how she had ended up alone, stranded in a dark corner of Oasis, but she knew she was in danger. She pushed away those very early days - it was all a blur for a while, of the occasional friendly face but none of them ever stayed very long. She never knew why. But somehow, at some point she realised she had the ability to make people… Disappear. It was almost as if she could just wish it and it would happen - a man walking by, suddenly swallowed into the shadows of the night and never returning again. Or even in the bright light of day, a stone shifting out of place to trip a haughty woman carrying a heavy load, falling at just the right angle to—
Simone shook that memory away too. It certainly wasn’t her first choice to snuff people out completely, but sometimes necessity called for unsavoury actions. Perhaps someone had trained her to be able to do it, or perhaps the city itself had taken pity on her, lending her some of the magic that was rumoured to run through the caverns beneath this desert city. She knew better than to cast aside such a marvellous gift - the ability to survive. And so she had built a reputation for herself, creating a drop point in one of the many nooks along the city streets where a piece of paper and a bag of payment could be tied to a string. Usually all she needed was a name - she would then wait until the darkest hour of the night to skitter along the city roofs, pull up the string and collect her bounty. All payments to be made up front, in full - she wouldn’t take the chance that anyone would cheat her out of what was her dues.
Sometimes she would come across one of her targets in a completely different part of the city, a vague look in their eyes as if they were walking in a dream. Those were the best solutions she could offer. It would be as if the city would swallow them, make them disappear for a while and spit them out almost as a different person somewhere else. There was never any complaints - Simone trusted Oasis to have her back, to somehow make that person disappear as if they had never existed before. But there were times when the city decided more drastic measures were needed and Simone never had any control over which punishment her target would receive.
She shuddered. Everything had gone wrong tonight. She should never have interfered, should have made her peace with the city’s judgment, but she couldn’t… He had been only a boy, perhaps just a year or so younger than herself. She had seen the hatred in his eyes, knew he had done bad things, but she had also seen a reflection of herself in him. A version of who she might have become if this unexpected gift - or perhaps curse - had not been bestowed upon her. And so, when a piece of the wall where he was walking shifted so that a water pot from one of the upper level residences would crash upon his head, Simone found herself suddenly lunging from her hiding place, leaping forward to push him out of the way. When he fell, a nearby vendor’s table suddenly gave way, and the boy somehow landed on one of the many knives that had fallen to the ground. Simone didn’t need to feel his pulse to know that Oasis had claimed its target anyway - the pool of blood seeping out underneath him told her that. In her fall though, her cloak had come undone, the hood pushed back from her face and the sudden cry of a crow somewhere above her drew every eye in the street towards her.
“Sorcerer!”
“Thief!”
A million other accusations were flung her way, and she scrambled to her feet before anyone could grab hold of her. Rumours of her had been rife among the city and it was as if a spotlight had suddenly been turned toward her. Perhaps the city had been camouflaging her all this time, and not just her clever disguises. And know, she was feeling its wrath. At the first chance she got, Simone scrambled up the crooked buildings, fingers and boots quick to find any small purchase they could get. But even the roof tops weren’t safe anymore. Windows were flung open as the cry of alarm went through the city and lanterns flared to life in the darkening sky. She had chosen sunset for this particular assignment as she knew the shadows in the city streets, with their narrow alleys and overhanging buildings, would twist and move and make her even more invisible, but now the time of day conspired against her.
Her heart jumped to her throat as she heard the city bells clamour from the Palace tower. The guards had been alerted. They usually kept out of underground matters, letting the people settle themselves, unless things grew out of hand. If the guards were involved, she would have no chance to escape—
A shutter flung open right in front of her, hitting her across her face. Simone cried out and fell backwards, gravity saving her from the outstretched hand in front of her. Her breath came in pained grunts as she fell downwards, trying to find a landing place for her feet, misjudging it every time and hitting against outstretched roofs, another water jar here, a piece of wall there. Somewhere mid air she cried out to the city, a breathless plea for forgiveness.
I won’t mistrust your judgment again. Please, save me!
For a moment, the very air seemed to hold its breath, the sky a wide open space above her. Then the buildings closed over her and instinct told her to stretch out her arm, and she grabbed old of a window sill, the shutters still closed and dark. She grunted as momentum and gravity jerked at her shoulder, but her fingers stayed firm. She hung there, swinging slowly to a stop and gathering her breath. She could feel the city closing around her, a pocket of momentary safety, even though everything didn’t feel quite at peace.
“Thank you.”
She closed her eyes, pushing away all thought, and let the city fill her with its awareness instead. Without a second thought, she opened her hand and let go, feeling her feet guided through the empty air to land softly in a quiet alley. When she settled her hand against the stone beneath her feet, the surface still warm from the day’s scorching sun, the heat flared up suddenly - a last punishment, reminding her of her disobedience. She forced herself to keep still, to take what was her due, gritting her teeth against the pain. Soon the heat and pain faded, and a coolness pulsed through her palm and up into her arm. She knew she would carry the scar for a while, but even so she could feel the city comforting her again, as if almost regretting its own harshness in her punishment.
She nodded, a quiet acknowledgement of both their faults, their brokenness, drew her cloak around her and ducked back into the busy streets.
Even though they had made amends, something had shifted between her and Oasis. Where she had been able to move through the crowds like water through sand, she kept colliding with those around her. One hand kept her hood drawn low over her face, and every time someone tugged at her cloak or bumped against her shoulder she jangled with nerves. She tried to focus on putting one foot in front of the other, on just making it home for now, to get some rest and then figure out what next, when a pair of hands stretched out from one of the alleys and jerked her back into darkness. A bag was thrown over her head and drawn so tight she felt herself gasping for breath. A strange smell filled her nostrils, a floral yet chemical scent. The next thing she knew, everything went gone completely black and she lost her grip on reality.
Painting debrief:
Started out with the main focus of experimenting with buff titanium, to see how it reacts and mixes with other colours, and also pick out colours that would work for creating a spring-time vibe. Absolutely in love with what’s going on on this page!
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Paper: Canson XL A3 watercolour sketchbook
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Brushes: Escoda versatil, #12 kolinsky
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Colours: Daniel Smith Buff Titanium, Opera Pink, Raw Sienna, Ultramarine Turquoise, Quinacridone GOld, Burnt Umber, Indigo
Project Context
If you missed the first few posts, this is a brand story I’m tackling as part of World Watercolour Month and Camp Nano that are both taking place in July. Read more on the project here: "Emergence"