A cat going to the doggy parlour? That will be the day! Except when Havoc McTabby has a good reason to fluff up... Of course, chaos is sure to follow wherever Havoc goes!
Havoc at the Doggy Parlour (Havoc McTabby - Story #1)
“I’m NOT getting out of the car!” I miaau.
I poke my paws through the carrier bars and dig my nails into the seat.
“Come on Havoc! We’re going to be late!” Marshall grumbles, tugging at the carrier.
I lean away from the door, putting all my weight against the inside of the bars.
“I am Havoc McTabby, Cat of Chaos! You are my slave and will do as I say. I will NOT go to the Doggy Parlour!” I yowl.
Marshall looks at his watch, then shrugs. “If we head straight to the cat show now, I’ll just give you a quick brush there myself.”
“Cat show?” I retract my claws and sit up straight.
“Or maybe I should skip all of it, go home, watch a movie…”
Maybe she will be there, I realise.
With a well-placed kick, I send my carrier whooshing through the air.
“Havoc!” Marshall scrambles forward, catching the carrier just in time.
“I knew you’d come around.” He grins at me.
I turn away, nose in the air.
Hang in there, Havoc. This’ll be worth it!
The parlour door clicks closed behind us. Silence falls before a cacophony of barking breaks loose.
“Silence!” The attendant commands.
Oh look, it’s Mr Grumpy today! I give him my best cat-got-your-tongue look.
Grumpy settles his glasses on his nose, glaring as he points behind us.
I look back, grinning at my picture on the “Groomers be Warned” poster. It’s slightly blurry, but a great shot of that time I had—
“We’ve only just repainted the walls,” Grumpy folds his arms.
Marshall shrugs. “And you made me pay for it. Deluxe Grooming, please. Speed edition.”
“But the leash—”
“No leash. No cage. We’re in a hurry. I’ll watch my cat this time, I promise.”
Marshall puts my carrier down on the counter, letting me catch a glimpse into the back grooming room. Three dogs step forward, tugging on their leashes attached to the “wait here” railing.
I sigh.
“What do we have here, boys?” Dangerous Dane barks .
“Yip yip! It’s Havoc alright!” Pesky Poodle yaps.
“Grrr— Squeak!” Ripper Rottweiler tries his best growl, but really, he should know by now that doesn’t work with a squeaky toy in his mouth.
I grin through my carrier. “Someone grab a mop, the Slobber Squad is drooling again! Didn’t you get enough Havoc in the park last week?”
A flash of colour catches my eye. I sigh again.
Señor Pequeno — or rather, Tiny, as I call him — is tucked into a shiny, pink doggy tuxedo today. An old lady shuffles over, scooping the tiny chihuahua into her arms.
“I’ll save you from these dirty mongrels, my little Pequeno,” she coos, rubbing his ears. Tiny winks at me, then scrabbles out of her arms and disappears into the parlour.
“No havoc this time!” Marshall scolds, tugging me from the cat carrier.
I miaau, giving him my best “Who me?” look. I protest louder as Marshall hands me to Grumpy.
“Let’s get this over with,” mutters Grumpy, slinging me over his shoulder.
This better be worth it! I agree.
We pass the Slobber Squad, and I grin down at them from my perch.
“Who’s the squeaky toy now?” I call, sticking my tongue out at them.
Uh oh…
Dangerous Dane smiles back, then sticks out his back leg. Right in front of Marshall who was following behind us.
“Watch out!” I warn, but it’s too late. Marshall trips, falling into Grumpy, who sends me flying through the air…
Plop!
I land, head-first, in a basin of soapy water.
I sputter.
I hiss.
I finally tumble upright, spitting out bubbles as I come up for air.
SPLAT!
My paws hit the tray with shampoo and goodness knows what else placed at the edge of the basin. Bottles arc through air, sending slippery soap splattering all over the tile floor.
“Yelp!” The tiny cry catches my attention. I narrow my eyes, zooming in on a dark corner of the room. A stack of basins had toppled over, a piece of pink tuxedo fabric sticking out from under one of them.
Guess I’ll have to save the day yet again.
“Here comes Havoc!”
“Get back here, you naughty dogs! Who let you off your leashes?” Grumpy’s shouting warns me just in time.
“Squeak!” Ripper is bounding towards me, his teeth bared around his squeaky toy.
I scramble in the slippery water until I feel the basin beneath my legs.
Wait for it…
“Sham-POW!” I yowl, pushing myself into the air and landing on Ripper’s back.
“Ge— Squeak! Off— Squeak!” He yaps, bucking up and down.
“Try and make me!” I laugh, digging my nails into his back.
Slish-slosh, we slip and slide across the floor.
“Left!” I pull his ear between my teeth.
“Right!” I swipe at his tail.
“Squeak!” protests Ripper, feet scrambling on the slippery tiles.
“You’re going to pay for this, Havoc!” Dangerous Dane and Pesky Poodle are running towards us.
Almost there…
“One…” I leap up to one of the shelves.
Ripper Rottweiler slides into the upturned basins, sending them flying into the air. A flash of pink scrambles towards the back of the parlour.
“Two…”
I watch as one of the basins tumbles back down, landing upside down again, right over Ripper’s head.
Dangerous Dane and Pesky Poodle back-pedal for all they’re worth, but it’s too late.
“Aaand… Strike!” I miaau, giving a victory cry as Ripper tumbles into them, sending the Slobber Squad flying like bowling pins.
EXIT.
The bright green sign above the backdoor catches my eye.
“One small step for Havoc, one giant leap to free—”
“No Havoc Houdini on my watch!”
“Let me go!” I try to swipe at my slave, but Marshall has me by the scruff of my neck.
“Stop it Havoc, or the tuna gets it!!”
Marshall is standing with an open tin of tuna, holding it over the garbage can.
I groan, sitting back again. Isn’t Marshall supposed to be on my side? He knows I can’t resist tuna…
The hairdryer growls in my ears.
Hairbrushes tug.
Combs pull.
I lick the last bite from the tuna can, ignoring the indignity. But the Slobber Squad have already noticed…
“That bow is perfect!” Dangerous Dane howls.
“All tied up now, Havoc?” Pesky Poodle adds, tugging at his reattached leash.
Ripper Rottweiler is laughing so hard, he’s even spat out his slobber-covered squeaky toy.
I hiss, I growl. My ears burn, but I stay my claws.
It’ll be worth it soon.
“Slave, get me out of here!” I yowl.
For once, Marshall does as he’s told and tucks me into my cat carrier.
“Havoc, catch!” Tiny appears as we head out the door, tossing Ripper’s favourite squeaky toy my way. I reach through the bars, hooking the toy with my nails. I try not to shudder, giving Tiny a grin instead.
“Where have you been, my little Señor Pequeno?” His owner appears out of nowhere, scooping him up. Tiny gives me one, last wave through the parlour door.
This might still be worth it, I think, pulling Ripper’s favourite toy into the carrier. Until I catch a glimpse of my reflection.
A puffed up fur ball looks back at me from the car window. Complete with bright blue bow on top.
I hiss.
“Purr-fect Cat Show, here we come!” Marshall pumps his fist in the air.
The car jerks to a stop. I peek out of the carrier.
Will it be worth it?
There she is, my Magnolia, sitting tall and pretty on a pedestal.
“Havoc’s at the show!” Marshall whoops, opening the door.
CLICK.
With a flick of a nail, I release the lock on the cat carrier.
“Havoc, no!”
I slip through Marshall’s hands, sauntering over to Magnolia.
“Magnolia, my darling. You look purr-fect today.” I rub my back against the pedestal.
“And you look like something the dog’s dragged in.” She sticks her nose in the air.
“I’ve brought a gift for you.”
“Isn’t that the same one you brought me last week?”
“This one’s fresh from the parlour. Ripper’s latest favourite.”
I hold my breath.
She looks down, staring at my offering. “You’ll have to do better than that.” She shudders, then starts licking her paws.
My heart sinks. What else could I—?
“Now, ladies and gentlemen, for our top event! The Cat Agility race!”
Magnolia winks, then leaps off her pedestal.
I grin, setting off after her. “Catastrophe, here we—!”
“Gotcha!” Marshall exclaims, lifting me up in the air. “Winner gets a month’s supply of Tip Top Tuna—”
I hiss, finally scrambling loose from his arms.
Chaos ensues, but I know what to do. My eyes are fixed on the prize, my muscles warmed up thanks to the Slobber Squad. I leap, I tumble, I jump. Magnolia had a head-start, but we’re soon racing neck-in-neck…
“And the winner is…. Havoc!”
“I guess it was worth it after all,” I grin, sliding an open tin of tuna to Magnolia. She winks, then blows me a kiss before leaping away.
THE END.